I'm so tired of being judged and found wanting and caring about it!
I'm so tired of my own judgments of self and of others. Of expecting other people to be a certain way and being disappointed. I'm so tired of relying on other people to do/be xyz so I can feel good. I'm tired of them failing. Of me failing myself.
I'm so tired of feeling hurt, lost, confused, unsure, not enough, bad, a disappointment, guilt, shame, hate, pain, sadness, despair...
I'm so tired! I want to quit! Quit expectations. Quit the shame and guilt. Quit the judgments! Quit feeling bad about myself! Quit taking things personally and feeling bad about my reactions! Quit wanting to be better! Quit wanting to be accepted! Quit wanting to be deserving! Quit wanting to be something other than what I truly am in the moment!
I quit! Yes I do, I QUIT!!!
I now choose to be okay with myself. I choose to let others think of me what they will. I choose to be unaccepted by others instead of conforming to their will and doing something I don't feel like doing. I choose to accept myself enough so others don't have to...
I now choose to love me... I love me with xyz physical "imperfections", when I'm feeling unmotivated, when I'm not being the "perfect citizen" I was raised to be. I love me when I'm angry, sad, depressed. I love me when I'm feeling lost, confused, unloving, ungenerous, unkind... I love me when I'm feeling critical, judgmental and reactive. I love me when I'm feeling frustrated, fed up, impatient, ungracious, rude, ashamed, insecure, guilty! I love me!
I love me!!! Just as I am in each moment of every day, I love me!
I AM and it's okay... All is truly well...